Finally... You're Here

I'm still excited as if you continue to happen...
Like a recurrence....
I linger on your spurts of existence that never take leave
Entangled in the wings of butterflies born upon your majesty.
You continue to be
As if your breath thrives on the strength of your grip on my sanity.
Always something different but the same to me.
Standing where I've been for months....still.
I wait in moments that have already expired...but appear again as new.
Foolishly believing I'd changed...
I held onto you...
Adding personality to my daydreams
I wait for what seems like countless kalpas
The stroke of your hair lends merit to the minutes.
I'll stand diligent for as long as it takes.
You're better than you know.
So special that it's fact...absolute.
I think it's dope that you get me.
We've become each other's solutions.
So beautiful
*Sigh*
I miss you before you say goodbye.

While You Were Sleeping 2

Up before you
I watch patiently....
Hovering like a new parent
Stealing kisses
Keeping tabs like a warden would...
Concerned....
In rapture...
Awake as if missing something,
Making sure you're really here
For I have daydreamed about these moments.
Upset that I wasted time on sleep in the first place.
Watching....
Wondering if you understand the risk I'm willing to take
The measures I'm capable of pushing just to keep you here...
I'm respecting you.
Watching....
Pushing my hope to the back burner
Rejection forcing me to relish in the present moment.
I am keeping the "I Love You"s on the curve of my lip
Hoping you'll taste them
Sweet as simple syrup
Just as I remember and long overdue.
I miss you more than it may be appropriate to say.
I'm up before you...
Savoring the now
Observing you in your solace
And now....for just right now...I have mine.

Sudden Solitude

Daunting silence.
The steadiness of your breath.
Chest heaving...up and down.
I'm watching a sleeping ghost.
Closing my eyes, using my fingers to trace the lines of your face.
Addressing the cold spot on the other side of the bed.
Reading old messages,
Remembering sweet nothings,
Existing in a new realm of self-torture.
Bathing in puddles of tears.
Keeping broken appearances, lying to myself.
Stationed by a dead phone, uninhabited rooms, empty windows...
Made a mockery of by an uneventful caller ID.
One-sided conversations with picture mail...
I'm pitiful,
But not ashamed...
Sending cosmic energy
Wrapping my arms around you despite your absence.
I've never left...
I made promises that I now uphold to a phantom.
My heart was always ten steps ahead of forever.
It was in paradise with you.

I'm With You

You can find me sitting under icy stars...
Connecting the dots, making a face that's emblazoned across my home.
Find me sniffing the sheets
Savoring the moments for just another minute
Putting my head across your chest,
In awe of the musical agreement our heartbeats have decided upon.
I preserve you like ripe fruit and spread you thick to nourish my past.
I sustain you in the heart that's been missing.
I tried not to let you seep into my skin...
Begged your eyes not to call out my transparency
But you showed no clemency....
For once, I wasn't so lucky...but its fine.
Taking my common sense for high ransom
And I don't mind.
I'm putting my feet in your shoes
Filling the spaces with the passion of last night.
I think I get closer to you...
Holding high station in my existence
I am wearing you like religion on Sundays,
Reclining in deliverance.
You are the backbone and premise of my thoughts and everything I have to say
And I am standing in this emotion on stilts.
I'm walking on thick ice..
Walking around in that scene from a movie
Dancing in the rain
Digesting your thoughts, making them a part of me
I've dreamt of the good life, but I'm now basking in excellence.
I'm with you.

Husband

I proclaimed you the bearer of my torch.
I hold onto your arm proudly...not afraid of falling.
You encompass the knight my mother promised me,
Safeguarding my heart, granting my dad's wish.
I thank you with my vulnerability.
My gratitude is leaps beyond what you can begin to fathom.
So in tune with your heart that its sitting on mine
Perched like a sheltered hummingbird in the distance.
I have played our wedding a million times,
Tattooed my vows on a star-kissed path to enlightenment.
I retire in your sweet nothings...
Smooth like Beaujolais on the driest night in Dahab.
I am waiting for quiet sunsets on the back porch sipping iced tea
No words needed
Walks under tranquil willow trees
Old butterflies still flapping their wings

While You Were Sleeping

I'm staring at a resting savior...
Modest in his brow,
Lean in deceit or anything bad.
I am holding on with every ounce of who I am,
Watching the rise and fall of your chest, trying to mimic you.
I can only hope my breaths are that graceful.
These days they're staggered, restless, waiting for your call, staccato.
You're way too beautiful for me to just let you leave at the turn of light.
Maybe we were meant to be just like this.
I'm making up excuses to get me out of watching you leave.
Everything else never matters.
My hangups are precipitously disconnected with no room to breathe.
Your face is stapled under my eyelids and attached to my palm like a dingy love letter
Falling harder than a quarter from the top of a skyscraper....
For once, I'm not scared.

Maybe

something I can say I really feel...a real dedication


I've been thinking of the possibilities
About the "what if's"
These thoughts....
Awaken dormant thirsts
Exciting my taste buds...leaving them in awe of something new.
This is refreshing...even in its obscurity.
They tickle me in my downtime
Revoking my woe's iniquities.
I am thinking of you....
Entertaining beautiful scenarios without shape
Pressing my face against the imprint left in my mind, feeling closer to you
Escaping vulnerability, standing firmer in this feeling...this....awareness.
More than a crush...a prospect.
I am thinking of you.....
Smiling a smile I thought I lost
It has been aroused by the citings of a face I may never see.
I am wondering things I shouldn't.
I am wondering if you're doing the same.