Trapped

Tides shifted and tears dried
While I sat picking up the pieces.
This is so dangerous.
I just want to understand something that's intelligible.
Now I'm forced to re-evaluate my own sanity.
These walls are unfamiliar and cruel.
It stinks in here...
So played out.
The contrast between what was and what actually is has taken my mind for a joyride.
It hasn't returned... I declared my mind lost a long time ago.
It's getting so tight
I can smell the person right outside...
Taunting me.
This box is cold and dry with not an ounce of mercy.

On The Brink

Not yes and not no
Free and still kept
I'm not exactly sure yet...
Think I'm in love but there's no one there
I have to stop falling for invisible souls.
When they're tangible, the heartbreak becomes that much more real.
This disappointment shapes itself out.
I put an ugly face to a beautiful thing.
I'm on my tippy-toes reaching
with anvils at my heels.
Some look from afar and assume I'm stretching my life across a plain.
Don't they know I'm on the brink?
I enjoyed a sunset once.
I tasted that night air and it licked me back like I were covered in pineapples.
I was in rapture until I woke up..upside down.
I'll mold that night into something definite
Until I can own up to my reality.
I get caught in between a stare that lasted too long and a heart that doesn't say my name.
He told me of words
I thought it would be a love letter, professing things hidden
But it was so random I wanted to forget the words I read as I read them.
I bit my lip for getting so excited.
I'm so selfish.
I'm so caught in between everything.
In the thick of a gray area I swore never existed.
Not yes and not no.
Free and still kept.
An invisible man torments me with his loud and abrasive absence.
I'm always on the brink.
But its not my fault... and not yours either.

He's All That

He knows who he is. He'll act as if he doesn't. Might brush it off (which will probably be the case). But at the end of it all, he knows where I stand, even if he'll never admit it to me. Not a dedication, but he was definitely on my mind.


I thought I saw colors and smelled lillies
Until his smile was the only thing shining back at me.
It was one of those things that make people believe in God;
those things that little girls write about in tattered journals and pink diaries,
later to talk about in vows.
He epitomized lipstick and perfume for women and discreet envy for men,
but for me, he's more...
They said he moved,
but I saw him glide
and I sat in the shade of his brow as his stride destroyed concentration.

I caressed the ego I put in place
and let him say what he wanted to,
because I sat on the words that he dangled in front of me.
I opened my mouth to taste them.
They reminded me of the cinnamon in peach cobbler.
Delicate like evaporated milk...
They satisfied my hunger and I feasted on them for weeks.
I waited for a breath from time to time just to smell what gave shape to his mouth.
I wondered how it tasted...
how it would feel sitting under the goosebumps on my neck if he happened to get too close.
He talked about memories and he talked about me.
His humility permeated though my hair
so I carved his face out on the stone that was my adoration for him.

I thought I heard harps and tasted sunbursts
but it was him sitting on a throne sipping on wine that he called my ecstasy.
My vision became infused with the wish of the present
and I woke up only to see you next to me.